“Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.” ― John Lennon
- You know it all.
When you are at the top of the tree you feel pretty special. You have done, seen and experienced things that you assume that very few have experienced. You feel that you are unique, special and almost above even contemplating any assistance. You are clearly successful therefore feel wise and full of knowledge and fortitude. After all, who can tell you what to think, feel or do?
- You are not keen on listening to others.
Trusting others doesn’t come easy to you especially if it has to do with your career or key decisions regarding your organization. You feel that others won’t know exactly what to say to you or to appreciate your unique way of thinking and feeling. In fact, talking about your feelings does not come easy to you. You can banter about news items such as politics and the economy but sharing your fears, failures and concerns for the future is just not going to happen. You are not about the place your future in someone else’s hands. Control is your saviour.
- You are afraid to change.
You have invested all in the situation you find yourself in now so why change? Why jeopardise any progress? You feel that it is not the end of the world the stress and anxiety you are under and that you can control it yourself. You feel you can endure and not go under. You are in complete control. Also, it others that need to change and not me, you often think to yourself.
- You think coaching is all “smoke and mirrors” and “snake oil”.
You know that you are right. Most coaches just don’t have the experience to coach and mentor senior people and professionals with complex challenges. Most coaches have a formal accreditation from some self-created institution but you don’t believe they have the exact professional experience as you – they haven’t been in your shoes. They use jargon terms and pad out their bio’s but you can see through all that disingenuousness “sales” and “marketing” patter.
- You see Coaching as a sign of weakness to others.
You hate to appear as weak to your peers and having a coach is like having a “crutch”, in your opinion. You are not weak. You are experienced, tough and your own person. You don’t need telling, guiding or that coaching rubbish. Why rely and trust a stranger with your innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities. It is absolutely not necessary for success, in your experience. You are a self-made person and you want that to continue. You are not dependent on others as that too is a sign of weakness. You are proud of being self-made.
Closing Thoughts
In spite of these justifications you may still find yourself alone in your role with very few people to trust. You may also find that even though you are successful and unique in yourself, you remain insecure in the thought that you may lose momentum and things may slip. It may also be the case that others are nipping at your heels waiting to either overtake you or replace you or that you are running out of ideas and now find yourself nervous about losing that edge that defines you.
Worst of all, feelings of nervousness and insecurity are creeping into your personal life, which brings added confusion and issues of trust and security.
Well, you are not alone and these feelings are normal even for highly successful people so you don’t need to struggle in silence or feel exposed. However, the hardest first step is not to consider coaching as a cry for “help” but a “partnership” for the future.
You need a team around you even though that may be a team of one. Reframing it this way may make a bit more sense to you. Your team – that one person who has the experience, knowledge and character to be your “partner”, your sounding board and wise counsel. You never know what could happen and what inner successes and further outer conquests lie before you. But, you will not know until you muster some faith to trust another. Lean out!
All I know is that you don’t need to continue alone, anymore so Partner Up!
We at nStratagem can help you with your personal transformation.
I look forward to your thoughts and comments on this article get in touch with us: contact@nStratagem.com
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Norm Murray is CEO of nStratagem. Norm is an acclaimed Executive Coach, Strategist, Transformation & Turnaround expert. He is an inspirational Speaker, Motivator and Writer & a Complex Problem Solver. He has counseled Executive Leaders and Executive Boards worldwide from start-ups to major corporations in the Middle East, Asia, North America and Europe to achieve transformation, adaptation and enhanced performance results beyond expectations.
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